HOW TO SELECT THE WEDDING COLOR SCHEME AND WEDDING PARTY

Selecting your color scheme:

The color scheme you select will depend on your own individual taste and preference. There are no set rules when choosing your colors. Choose colors that you love and that will express who you are. To create contrast, choose more than one color and then make sure the colors are complimentary. Use the same color scheme throughout your ceremony and reception. The colors you choose may affect your attire, your wedding party’s attire, flowers, invitations, cake, decoration, and favors.

Selecting your Wedding Party:

In determining who will make up your wedding party, keep in consideration your style, formality, your budget and the location of your wedding.

The more attendants you select, the more bouquets, boutonnieres and gifts you will need to buy.

Choose close friends or family members who are special to you and who can financially afford to purchase or rent their attire.

The members of your wedding party are:

§       Maid or Matron of Honor

§       Bridesmaids

§       Junior Bridesmaids

§       Best Man

§       Ushers

§       Flower Girl

§       Ring bearer and Trainbearer

§       Mother of the Bride

§       Father of the Bride

§       Groom’s Parents

§       Other Participants

Maid or Matron of Honor

The maid or matron of honor is someone you feel close to like a sister or a best friend.

The difference between the two is the matron of honor is married and the maid of honor is not.

If you are planning a large wedding, you may want to select both a matron of honor and a maid of honor. Perhaps a married sister for the matron of honor and an unmarried sister or best friend for the maid of honor.

The maid or matron of honor pays for her own attire.

The maid or matron of honor has the following customary duties:

¨                Helps the bride with addressing invitation envelopes, making favors or assisting with the shopping.

¨                Hosts a shower for the bride alone or with the bridesmaids (optional).

¨                Helps organize the bridesmaids with fittings and with their dresses on the wedding day.

¨                Keeps the groom’s ring until the appropriate time in the ceremony, when she exchanges it for the bride’s bouquet.

¨                Assists the bride in dressing before the ceremony and at the reception before the bride leaves.

¨                Signs the wedding certificate as a legal witness.

¨                Assists the bride with her train and veil at the altar.

¨                Is a member of the receiving line at the reception and is seated in a place of honor at the reception.

Bridesmaids

The bridesmaids are close friends or sisters of the bride and the groom. They purchase their own wedding attire.

There is no definite rule on how many bridesmaids you should select. Although twelve attendants are normally the maximum amount.

The number you select can be even or uneven.

If you have three or less, they should walk down the aisle in single file preceding the maid or matron of honor. If you have an even number or four/more, you may want them to walk in pairs.

If they outnumber the ushers in the recessional, the extras could pair up or walk out of the ceremony alone,

For symmetry at the altar and in your pictures, try to keep the number of attendants the same. The customary duties of the bridesmaids are:

¨                May assist the bride with pre-wedding errands and tasks.

¨                May alone or together as a group, have a shower for the bride and attend all pre-wedding parties.

¨                Attends rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

¨                Sometimes participates in the receiving line.

Best Man

The best man is a brother, close relative or best friend of the groom. It could also be the groom’s father if he chooses or possibly his son.

The best man is the groom’s right hand man in organizing activities and handling important duties as well as offers moral support.

The best man pays for his own wedding attire. The customary duties of the best man are:

¨                Transports the groom to the church and helps him get dressed.

¨                Supervises the ushers’ fittings and organizes them on the wedding day.

¨                Keeps the bride’s wedding ring until the appropriate time during the ceremony.

¨                Delivers the officiant’s fee before or after the ceremony.

¨                Signs the wedding certificate as a witness.

¨                Makes the first toasts to the bride and groom at the reception and reads any telegrams.

¨                Dances with the bride at the reception.

¨                Makes sure the suitcases are loaded into the honeymoon car and the groom has his plane tickets, itinerary and traveler’s checks.

¨                Takes groom’s wedding attire to the cleaners or to the rental shop.

The Ushers

Ushers are brothers, relatives, or close friends of the groom. They pay for or rent their own wedding attire.

There is not a definite rule on the number of ushers you should have in your wedding but a good approximation is one for every 50 guests.

It is not necessary to have the same number as the bride’s attendants but this would give your wedding party a better balance and provide symmetry at the altar as well as in your pictures if they were close in number.

If you want them to walk down the aisle in the processional, they may walk down in single file if there is less than four. If there are more than four they could pair up together.

The traditional duties of the ushers are:

¨                Arrive at the church one-hour before the ceremony and seat early guests. The bride’s guests are normally seated on the left and the grooms on the right (In Orthodox Jewish weddings-the sides are reversed).

¨                Seat guests with pew cards in reserved or special section.

¨                Distribute wedding programs if necessary.

¨                Direct placement of the wedding gifts.

¨                Seat groom’s parents in the right front pew and bride’s mother in the left front pew.

¨                Unroll the aisle carpet/runner and then take their places.

¨                Escort bridesmaids out of the church after the recessional.

Flowergirl

The flower girl is normally a relative of the bride or groom’s or a child of a close friend between the ages of 4 and eight.

You may use one or two flower girls and it may be better to use two if one of the girls is younger in age to help out.

The flower girl normally carries a small basket of rose petals to drop as she goes down the aisle. If the church prohibits this, she may carry baby roses to pass out as she goes down the aisle.

Ringbearer and/or Trainbearer

It’s not necessary to have either a ringbearer or a trainbearer but they are perfect escorts for the flowergirl

(s) in the recessional and they look adorable.

The age range is normally four or five but age is really up to the wishes of the bride and groom. Keep in mind the younger they are the easier they get distracted.

The ringbearer or trainbearer may be a girl and if so, her attire should match the flowergirls. The ringbearer carries the ring (s) tied by a ribbon on a satin or lace pillow down the aisle.

The ringbearer normally walks alone but could walk with the flowergirl. The ringbearer always precedes the bride.

The trainbearer carries the bridal gown train and follows the bride down the aisle.

The Mother of the Bride

The mother of the bride will want to be involved if possible or when needed. Her involvement may depend on where she is located but she will probably always be available for advice and suggestions.

Her involvement may include:

¨                Assisting with the selection of the gown accessories and attendant’s attire.

¨                Assisting with compiling guest list and helping address the invitations.

¨                Helping with the ceremony and reception details.

¨                Purchases her own dress. She has first choice in choosing the color but consults with the groom’s mother.

¨                Keeps the father of the bride informed of wedding plans.

¨                She is the official hostess at the wedding reception. She is the last person to be seated at the ceremony and the first to greet the guests in the receiving line at the reception. She is in a place of honor at the reception.

The Father of the Bride

This is the father of the bride’s big day as well. He has probably dreamed of walking you down the aisle for a long time. If possible, don’t deny him this pleasure.

Duties of the father are:

¨                His wedding attire should conform to the groom’s father attire.

¨                He rides with the bride to the ceremony.

¨                He escorts his daughter down the aisle and either stays there or sits in the front left pew.

¨                He may stand in the receiving line or mingle with the guests as host of the reception.

¨                He takes care the final payments of the caterers, musicians, etc. and is generally the last person to leave the reception.

Groom’s Parents

Depending on their financial involvement and location in relation to the bride and the groom, the parents of the groom will be involved as much as you would like them to be.

Duties of the groom’s parents:

¨                Send a note or phone the bride and her parents welcoming them in to the family.

¨                Generally host the rehearsal dinner.

¨                The groom’s mother stands in the receiving line and the father may or may not.

Other Participants

There are a number of duties that other close friends or relatives may do:

¨                Help decorate the ceremony or reception locations.

¨                Sing a song, read a scripture or poem, or serve as candlelighters.

¨                Be in charge of the guest book and gifts.

Divorced Parents

Depending on the individual circumstances, each situation regarding divorced parents are handled differently. It’s a good idea to involve all parents. Ask the parents or step parent what would make them more comfortable. Try to avoid favoritism to prevent hurt feelings.

If you have parents that do not get along, it’s a good idea to sit them down and let them know that

this  is  your  special  day  and  they  should  forget  their  differences  and  conceal  their  personal feelings.

If the bride’s parents are divorced there are a number of ways to address the invitations. If they are separated but not divorced, then its best to ignore their differences and follow the normal procedures.

In regards to seating for the ceremony, the mother of the bride should sit in the first pew on the left side.

If she is remarried, her husband may sit with her. If not, she should sit alone or with close relatives. If she has an escort, this person should sit with the other guests.

The seating for the father of the bride should be discussed before the wedding to determine everyone’s feelings. The father may also sit in the first pew after he gives you away. It would probably be a good idea to have relatives sit between him and his ex-wife.

If he’s remarried and his wife is attending, he could sit on the second or third pew. If he is bringing a casual escort, then his escort should sit back with the other guests.

In the receiving line, it’s not necessary to include fathers. If they want to be a part of the receiving line, they should stand next to their ex-wife or be separated by the bride and the groom.

Stepparents should not be the receiving line unless the bride or groom has no mother and father or the bride or groom was raised by the stepparent.

It’s not best to include divorced patents at the bride’s table at the reception. Seat them at separate tables with their own friends.

If they are not on the best of term or if one is accompanied with his/her new spouse, you may want to consider placing them at separate tables across the room.

Children from previous marriages

Depending on the wishes of the bride and groom and their relationship with the children, including children from a prior marriage may help the children accept the wedding easier and would make them feel like an important part of the ceremony.