HOW TO PLAN YOUR WEDDING RECEPTION AND PARTY

Types of Receptions:

There are various types of receptions:

·                  Morning

·                   Luncheon

·                   Dinner

·                   Tea

·                   Cocktail

·                   Sit-down

·                   Buffet

·                   Food Stations

The type of reception you select will depend on the time and style of your wedding, the number of guests and your budget.

Morning Reception:

A morning wedding would usually start around 9am or 10:00am. You would probably have a breakfast or brunch reception that could be served in sit-down or buffet style. For a sit-down breakfast, you may want to start with fresh juice and fruit, then serve an entrée that may include omelets, with rolls or toast. You may also want to serve coffee and tea. For a buffet breakfast, an assortment of fresh fruits, croissants, quiches, and rolls with a variety of cold cuts would be nice. Be sure to include coffee and tea. With a sit- down or a buffet, a wedding cake or pastries should be served. Alcoholic beverages are optional but may include champagne punch, wine or liquor.

Luncheon Reception:

The lunch reception is similar to the brunch reception. A lunch reception would normally follow a late morning or high noon ceremony. The food would be served between 12pm and 2 pm.

A lunch reception may be either sit-down or buffet style. Your reception coordinator or caterer will have suggestions, according to your budget. Sandwiches and cheeses are often served and are inexpensive.

Other popular items are shrimp and salmon but these are more pricey. A sit-down luncheon may begin with champagne, cocktails and hors d`oeuvres while guest go through the receiving line. Once the guests are seated, a white wine may be served with soup or salad, and then the entrée will be served. Serve coffee or tea with the wedding cake.

Dinner Receptions:

Dinner receptions are normally sit-down, buffet or food station receptions. They usually start between 6pm & 9pm. Most of time hors d`oeuvres are served in the first hour with cocktails with a buffet or sit- down dinner served afterwards. Having a cocktail hour gives people time to go through the receiving line, and then a buffet or sit-down dinner follows.

Tea Reception:

Tea receptions are usually held between 2pm & 3:30pm. The basic requirements are tea sandwiches and other finger foods along with the wedding cake. As for beverages, coffee, tea, or punch are normally served both with and without champagne and wine. This is the least expensive reception to have.

Cocktail Reception:

Cocktail receptions are usually held between 4pm & 7:30pm. If no dinner is to follow, the reception should start no later than 5:30pm or 6:00pm. In many cases there is an open bar, depending on the budget. Normally champagne, wine, punch, or beer is served. Hot and cold hors d`oeuvres may be passed out or set out on buffet tables.

Sit-down Receptions:

Sit-down receptions are where your guests will be served at their tables. It provides more organization and is easier to get guests attention for the reception activities such as toasting or cutting the cake. A disadvantage for this type of reception is that is may tend to keep your guests parked at their own tables for most of the evening and it may be quieter than you may want.

Buffet Receptions:

At buffet receptions, your guests will serve themselves from a round, oblong, or rectangular table with a variety of food placed around the edges. The tables will be arranged by the available space and the number of guest you are having. The guests may have assigned seating with place cards or you may choose to have them sit with whomever they prefer. If you are having a large number of guests, you will probably need more than one buffet table (one on each side of the room).

Food Station Receptions:

Food station receptions give guests a variety of options to choose from. They consist of smaller tables placed around the room. In most cased each table will have a different type of food or a different theme. For example there could be a station of meat carving (beef, ham, or chicken), a pasta station where your guests could select the items to add (shrimp, mushrooms or peppers) and their own sauce. You may also have a salad station, or a bread and fresh fruit station. Having this type of reception offers a variety of food to your guests and promotes mingling of the guests. Decorate the tables with unique flowers or other type of decorations.

Selecting your menu:

When selecting your menu, be sure to choose what you and your guests would like. Rely if possible on your caterer who can suggest a variety of items with a variety of prices fit your particular wedding depending on your number of guest, style and budget. A good caterer is an expert in menu selection and should guide you in making choices that will fit within your budget. Use spreadsheet “Menu Planner” at the end of this section to help you plan your menu.

Selecting your beverages:

Depending on the reception location, your budget, and your preference, you should be able to determine what beverages you would like to serve. Keep in mind people drink more in warm weather and in the evening. The average person consumes 4 to 5 drinks an evening or 1 per hour.

It’s customary to toast the bride and groom at the wedding reception. Champagne is normally used for toasting but if it’s not available, you can toast with sparkling cider or ginger ale. Be sure to provide non- alcoholic beverages as well such as soft drinks or punch. If your reception is being held at a hotel, restaurant, or club, your beverage will more in likely be supplied by the facility. If you have a small budget, you might only want to serve champagne punch or a moderately priced wine with dinner. Be sure to check the type of alcohol available and the cost per drink. You may arrange for a “cocktail” hour or have an unlimited open bar for the entire time. However, these 2 options can be very pricey depending on your budget.

If you opt to provide your own wine or champagne, the facility may quote you a separate “corkage fee” per bottle. Some may even charge extra to pour coffee. Also, you will want to check with the Alcoholic Beverage Control Department regarding rules and regulations governing alcoholic use. You also may want to check with your insurance agent as most states hold party givers personally liable for any accidents that ensue from the alcohol served at parties.

If you go through a liquor dealer, they can provide beer, wine and champagne as well as hard liquor. They can normally provide any brand you request along with the approximate mixes. Their prices are less than buying through a retail liquor store. Also, they are experienced and can provide advice as to the brands  and quantities within your budget. Most will deliver or bring more than is usually consumed so you won’t run short. You will only be charged for the bottles that are opened. Make sure to count both the opened and unopened bottles to make sure none have disappeared. Use spreadsheet “Menu Planner” at the end of this section to help you plan your beverages and “Reception Information Sheet” to record the specifics of your reception.

Planning for seating:

·                   Create a layout or floor plan of the reception site.

·                   Review your response list to get a count of how many guests will be attending.

·                   Work with the caterer or banquet manager to determine how many guests will fit comfortably at each table (8 to 10 guests per table is normally a comfortable amount).

·                   Determine how many tables you may need and find out how many will be available. The following are general guidelines for different sizes and shapes of tables:

·                   54” square table seats 4 people

·                   60” round table seats 8 people

·                   72” round table seats 8 to 10 people

·                   72” rectangular seats 6 to 8 people

·                   96” rectangular seats up to 10 people

Different types of tables:

Head Table:(Bride & Groom’s Table)

It’s customary to have a table reserved for the bride and groom and their attendants. The table is often a rectangular table that has the bride and groom facing their guests with no one seated opposite them. The bride and groom are seated at the center. The bride sits on the groom’s right with the best man on her right. The maid (matron of honor) is on the groom’s left. The bridesmaids and ushers alternate along the same side of the table. If the group is large, you can make the table into a U-shape or use two large round tables to seat the entire group.

Parent’s Table:

It’s also traditional to have separate tables for parents, one for the bride’s parents and one for the groom’s parents. However, if any parents are divorced, do not sit them at the same table but sit them among their own family and friends. You could also have both sets of parents sit at one table. The bride’s parents would sit at opposite ends. The groom’s father sits to the right of the bride’s mother, the wedding  officiant is to her left. The groom’s mother sits to the right of the bride’s father with the wedding officiant’s spouse to his left.

Cake Table:

The cake is the centerpiece of the reception and should be placed on a table by itself usually on a round- skirted table in a well-lit place.

Gift Table:

You will probably have a few gifts that will be taken to the ceremony or the reception. At the reception, have a specific table set aside to place the gifts on. The table should be located in a space that is not in anyone’s way and is safe. Delegate a trusted family member or friend to help place the gifts on the table. You may also want to ensure that they have some tape to secure any cards to the gifts immediately. Be sure to assign someone to collect the gifts at the ceremony and take these to the reception. You will also want to assign someone to take the gifts at the reception to your home or your parents’ home.

Place cards:

Place cards should be set at the head table or honor tables to avoid confusion or embarrassment. They are also used at formal or ultra formal weddings to determine who sits where. Review your response list again and start thinking about who should sit where. Try to create a mix and you may want to group people together by age, profession, martial status, etc. Be sure to put spouses together and spread family   members out. Write out a table card for each table so you will know where every one will be sitting.

Write the guest’s name on the front and back end of the card so everyone around the table will know whom the other guests are.

Use” Table Seating Chart” and “The Reception Seating Chart” to determine your seating arrangements and place cards.

Planning your reception timeframe:

It’s a good idea to make a timetable for yourself, your caterer, musicians, and photographer to help maintain a smooth flow of events. This is especially true when you have a time limit on the location. Most receptions last from 3 to 5 hours. Below is a sample schedule:

1st Half Hour:

·                   The rest of the wedding pictures are taken.

·                       Music should be started at your reception as guests will start arriving, mingling, and getting something to drink.

2nd Half Hour to an Hour-and-a Half:

·                   Guest book is signed.

·                   Receiving line is formed.

·                   Hors d`oeuveres or finger food is passed.

2nd Hour:

·                   Buffet is announced or for a sit-down dinner, the wedding party is seated, guests are seated and all is served.

·                   The best man proposes the first toast.

3rd Hour:

·                   Additional toasts or speeches are made.

·                   The first course is cleared from the head table.

·                   The bride and groom’s first dance and other dances may follow on the dance floor.

3rd Hour and a Half:

·                   The rest of the tables are cleared.

·                   The announcer signifies the cake cutting ceremony.

·                   The cake is cut and served.

·                   The dance music continues.

Last ½ Hour:

·                   The bride throws the bouquet.

·                   The groom throws the garter.

·                   The bride and groom change into their going away clothes.

·                   Rice, birdseed or bubbles are tossed on the bride and groom as they run to their car.

·                   The bar closes.

·                   The musicians stop playing and the guests start to leave.

·                   Parents gather their personal belongings and gifts before leaving.

Receiving and displaying gifts:

Gifts will either be sent to the bride’s home or will be brought to the wedding or reception. Any gifts that are brought to the wedding should be taken to the reception so please remember to designate someone to be responsible for this task.

Although many brides are getting away from displaying their opened gifts, this is really a personal choice. You may display the opened gifts in your home, however it’s considered to be in poor

taste to display opened gifts at your reception. You can open them later that night or when you return from your honeymoon.

Gifts without cards:

You may receive a gift that was brought to the reception without a card. If there is only one gift that is accounted for, and then you may be in luck. However, if there are several gifts that are unaccounted for, you may to do a process of elimination. If several can still not be accounted for then you can ask friends or family to discreetly find out what the guests you haven’t heard from gave you. Keep in mind; asking the guests yourself is inappropriate.

If the gift was sent over directly by the store it was purchased from, you can contact the store to see if they can be of any assistance in finding out who the giver was. Stores sometimes write down a code inside the box that designates the store location, date of purchase, and the salesperson, which may help in determining who sent the gift.

Returning and Exchanging Gifts

If possible, keep the box or tags that may come with the gifts. This will make it a lot easier to return or exchange duplicate or inappropriate gifts. You will find that most stores are cooperative and will at least allow you to exchange the gift.

If you have a gift that arrives damaged, its best to notify the store first. You may even want to take a picture of the box. However, you shouldn’t have any problems returning it.

Sending Thank-You Notes

A thank-you note should follow every gift. The note should be sent as soon as possible or

within 2 weeks if the gift was received before the wedding and within 1 month for those received at the wedding or later.

It’s best to keep up with your thank-you notes as gifts are received so you’re not overwhelmed later.

The bride writes most notes but the bride can always enlist the help of the groom to write notes to his family members or close friends.

The notes should be signed by the couple but can be signed by the bride only if the groom has been mentioned in the body of the note. The bride should sign with her maiden name if it’s sent before the wedding and with her married name after the wedding (unless the bride is keeping her maiden name).

When thanking a married couple, be sure to address the note to both of them unless the husband has been mentioned in the body of the note, then its acceptable to address it the wife only.

For joint gifts given by a large group of employees or club members, one thank-you note to the group would be appropriate. However, if the joint gift was given by your bridesmaids, then an individual note should be sent to each one of them.

Tips on Writing Thank-You Notes:

·                   Start your note with “Dear”. If the giver is a group of 4 or more friends such as your co- workers, address them together, “Dear Friends” (if it happens to be your bridesmaids, send them each a note). If it’s a married couple, address it to both of them, “Dear Mr. And Mrs.

Smith”. However, you can address it to the wife only, if you will be mentioning her husband in the body of the note, “Dear Susan”.

·                   Next, thank the giver and mention what the gift is: “Thank you for the lovely coffee pot you and Mr. James sent.”

·                   For the second sentence, mention how you will use the gift, “Tim and I are faithful morning coffee drinkers and your lovely pot will now be a part of our mornings”(if you are given money, be sure to let the giver know how you will be using it).

·                   For the third or fourth sentence, add a personal thought depending on how well you know the giver, “We are so glad you were able to attend our wedding and we look forward to seeing you soon”.

·                   Close the note by thanking the giver again, “Thanks so much again”.

·                   Lastly sign the note with what you feel is appropriate and how well you know the giver, “Sincerely”, “Fondly”, “Love” or “With much love”. Sign your first and last name when   you don’t know the giver well. If you do know them well and you are the bride, sign by using your maiden name if the gift is received before the wedding and your married name if its received after the wedding (unless you will still be using your maiden name).

An example:

Dear Susan,

Thank you for the lovely coffeepot you and Mr. Smith sent. Tim and I are faithful morning coffee drinkers and your lovely pot will now be a part of our mornings.

We are so glad you were able to attend our wedding and we look forward to seeing you soon. Thanks again.

Sincerely,

Kim Thompson

Planning Reception Activities:

Receiving Line:

Forming a receiving line gives you an opportunity as a couple to greet all of your guests and receive their congratulations. However, more brides and grooms are opting to exclude the receiving line from their reception activities since most prefer to mingle with their guests during the reception by going table by table rather than have their guests wait in a long line. However, if you have a large number of guests; you may want to include the receiving line in your reception.

The receiving line normally starts right after the ceremony. If your ceremony and reception are being held at different sites, the receiving line will be the first activity after your emcee has announced your arrival at the site. Consider where you will form your line before the reception. Make sure you will have plenty of room for the guests to move through quickly and to void a jam.

Forming your line:

The bride’s mother usually heads the receiving line since the bride’s parents are normally the host of the event. The bride’s father will be next and will stand on the mother’s left side. Then

the groom’s mother would be next with her husband on her left. However, some men prefer to mingle  with the guests instead standing in the line. Next will be the bride and groom, the matron (maid) of honor, followed by the bridesmaids. You may opt to have the attendants mingle with the guests instead of standing in line. This will help the line move more quickly and help keep down the guest’s chatting. If  one of your parents is deceased, you can have someone else stand in for them as an honored guest. If either set of parents are divorced, you may want to have the fathers mingle with the guests to prevent a sticky situation or have them stand in line but not by their ex-spouse.

Receiving line order:

·                   Mother of the Bride

·                   Father of the Bride (Optional)

·                   Mother of the Groom

·                   Father of the Groom (Optional)

·                   Matron (Maid) of Honor (Optional)

·                   Bridesmaids (Optional)

Do’s and Don’ts of the Receiving Line:

·                   Do go over the names of the guest lists so you both will have their names fresh in your mind.

·                   Do thank guests for coming and being part of your day. Smile at everyone, shake hands or to those you know better, give hugs.

·                   Do introduce guests that your groom doesn’t know and vice versa.

·                   Do introduce yourself if neither of you know the guest.

·                   Do keep you guests entertained while in line. Have music playing and serve guests drinks while in line to help keep them entertained.

·                   Don’t wear your gloves while in line.

·                   Don’t hold on to your bouquet. Place it somewhere securely until you are finished.

Guest Book:

The guest book has space for all of your guests to sign their names or to write sentimental messages so  that you will have a record of all who attended your grand affair. You can purchase these in stationery stores or over the Internet. You may want to place your book on a pedestal at the entrance of the reception or at the end of the receiving line. Brides sometimes choose a friend or relative that could not be part of the wedding party to stand next to the book and remind guests to sign it.

Toasting:

It’s customary to toast the couple with champagne. If you are not having champagne, then a sparkling white wine, cider, or ginger ale could be used. Toasting usually begins after the receiving line and after everyone has received a drink to toast with. The best man is usually the first one to offer a toast to the bride and groom. He should begin by mentioning his relationship with couple then add a wish for their future. Once the toast is done, guests should stand if they are seated and hold up the glasses and then drink to the couple. The bride and groom do not stand or drink when being toasted.

The groom may then thank the best man for the toast then toast the bride, his parents and new in-laws.  The bride may then thank the groom and toast him, her parents, and her new in-laws. You may have other members of the wedding party that want to toast the couple. Keep the toasts limited to a select few. Once the toasting is completed, the best man will read any congratulatory telegrams.

First Dance:

Once the receiving line is over your guests may begin dancing. Then immediately before or after the main course is served; the emcee or master of ceremonies may announce the couple’s first dance together. The dance floor is cleared and the bride and groom start their dance. The following is a list of customary  dance formality (however, if any parents are divorced, you may want to skip these dances and just open the dancing up to all your guests after the first dance is complete):

·                   Bride and Groom

·                   Bride and her Father (Father-daughter dance)

·                   Groom and his mother (Mother-son dance)

·                   Bride and Father-in-law as well as the Groom and Mother-in-law (In-laws dance)

·                   Bride and Best Man as well as the Groom and Matron of Honor

Cutting the Cake:

For a tea or cocktail reception, the cake is usually served after the receiving line and once guests have their drinks. For a luncheon or dinner reception, the cake should be cut just before dessert. The emcee or master of ceremonies announces the event. The groom placed his right hand over the brides and together they cut the first piece. Then the couple offers each other a bite to signify a willingness and pledge to share their life together. The bride may then offer a piece of cake to her new-in-laws and the groom should do the same as a thoughtful gesture. The rest of the cake is then cut by friends or a waitress and served to the guests.

Tossing the Bouquet:

Just before you change into your going away outfit to leave the reception, have all of the single women gather in a central location to catch your bouquet (if you opted to save your bouquet, you will probably be tossing a smaller one made up by the florist). The single lady who catches the bouquet is said to be next   in line to marry. Be sure to have your photographer be prepared to take pictures at this time so your  tossing will not be missed.

Tossing the Garter:

After the bouquet toss, have the emcee or master of ceremonies announce the garter toss. The groom will proceed in taking the bride’s garter from her leg (it may be her wrist if you have opted to wear a hand garter) and then tosses it to the single men. In tossing the garter, the single men are gathered in hopes of catching the garter, which signifies that they will be the next to marry. Be sure your photographer is prepared to catch these pictures as well.

Once you have finished planning for your reception, record all of the reception planning information on form “Reception Information” found at the end of this section.

Money Saving Ideas:

·                   Have a morning or afternoon reception in which you can serve cake and hor d’oeveres rather than a full meal. Also, people tend to drink less in these time periods.

·                   Reduce the size of your guest list by eliminating dates, children of friends, casual acquaintances, and co-workers.

·                   Have your reception in a garden or at your friend’s home.

·                   Look into hotel room packages that offer a discount on the bridal suite when the reception is being held there or when you book a block of rooms for out-of-town guests.

·                   Avoid selecting the most expensive menu items such as lobster, shrimp, crab or steak.

·                   Have buffet food served by the caterer’s staff, which will prevent guests from taking food that they probably won’t eat or prevent you from running out of food.

·                   Use paper and plastic utensils (plates, cups, and silverware), which may be less expensive than renting china, silverware and glasses.

·                   Serve non-alcoholic drinks like sparking cider, grape juice or punch. Also you could serve wine only.

·                   Serve chicken or pasta for less expensive entrees.

·                   With an open bar, limit your cocktail hour and then serve wine after that time period. Also, consider having someone pass around the drinks to avoid guests wasting drinks and then going back to the bar for more.

·                   Buy liquor and food from wholesalers.

·                   Avoid the middleman and rent equipment directly from rental companies rather than the caterer.

Ideas:

·                   Have a basket of goodies (delivered, dropped off, or you can put it together yourself) to your wedding night location. Include champagne, wedding flutes, and other snacks and goodies.

·                   Spread your wedding day joy to others: have your caterer send any leftover food to a soup kitchen or a needy shelter or have your floral counter pieces send to hospitals and nursing homes.

·                   Add a personal touch to the place settings of the bride and the groom by placing monogrammed flutes at their setting.

·                   Add flowers, greenery or ribbons to the bride’s chair to make it special.

·                   To give your decorations a more dramatic effect use great silk floral arrangements like trees or lattice arches (these can be rented surprisingly affordable prices).

·                   Create a new tradition by topping your cake w/ your parents or new-in-laws cake topper.

·                   Add color to reception tables by placing a large square of gift-wrap in center of each. Add candles in coordinating colors and different size intertwined w/greenery.

·                   Add photos of wedding portraits of parents, grandparents, sisters and brothers to both sides of your gift table. On front of each couple add a place card with their names and wedding date.

·                   For a hot summer day, place a decorative paper fan at each place setting.

·                   Place plastic bottles of bubbles personalized with labels of the bride and groom name, and wedding date at each guest’s place setting. Have the bubble blown during your dance with the groom or when you are departing from the reception.

·                   Place a small picture frame with each guest’s name in calligraphy on a small piece of paper, slide the paper into the frame and place each of these appropriately at each table. These can double as a place card as well as a wedding favor.

·                   Place a throwaway camera on each table for guests to take pictures during the reception. Arrange for someone to collect all of the cameras at end of the reception.

·                   Place a card or a piece of paper at each guest’s place setting at the table to write a caption at the top to share a favorite memory they have of you and your groom. Have someone collect these at the end of the reception to place in a memory box. At an informal wedding, you may want guest’s that choose to do so to read their memories aloud.

·                   Place a wedding archway of white lattice (can be rented) at the entrance of the reception room. For an enchanting entrance to an evening wedding decorate the arch with tiny white lights and white silk/fresh flowers.

·                   Add birdbaths (borrow or rent from a local nursery) to each side of the main entrance. Fill them with water and blossoms. Add floating candles to be lit when the sun starts to set.

·                   For a garden tent, string hundreds of tiny lights across the ceiling for a starry effect.

·                   For a summer wedding add displays of chocolate dipped strawberries for centerpieces at each table.

·                   If you plan on having a receiving line at your reception, have tiny hors d’oeuvres served to those standing in line on cocktail napkins printed with your names and wedding date.

·                   Have the best man announce your entrance and lead a round of applause.

·                   Have a trumpet fanfare either live or recorded then have the best man make the announcement.

·                   Make a toast personal to the groom, your parents or your new-in-laws (perfectly acceptable these days).