HOW TO RESET YOUR EXPECTATIONS IN MARRIAGE

FORGET EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT you knew about dating, divorced singles, and post-divorce life. This chapter is all about how to change your beliefs. In this step, I’ll reveal the eight most surprising myths about dating, relationships, and the opposite sex from my long-term EYM study and other leading research studies on dating and divorce— information that will completely change how you view relationships from this moment on.

For example, did you know that at the beginning of a relationship, your brain makes it nearly impossible for you to see your partner’s faults (even though you’ve heard that first impressions are always right)? Or that men, not women, are more likely to fall in love with someone who doesn’t love them back? In this chapter, I’ll dispel and debunk relationship myths with science and facts you’ll be able to use whether you’re out in the dating world or in a new relationship. You’ll see that simply shedding your old beliefs—and your expectations about how a relationship should be—is the first step to finding that special someone and forming a healthy and long-lasting relationship.


Think back for a minute about your past relationships. Do you feel like you’re making the same mistakes over and over again? Are you hesitant to jump back into the dating scene because your heart’s been broken? Are you having a hard time getting over your ex, or do you feel angry or “burned” by your divorce? If you are currently seeing someone, do you feel like your relationship is in trouble or has lost its spark?

Many of these feelings stem from frustration, disappointment, and the belief that your relationships “just haven’t worked out the way you thought they would.” But the truth is, our expectations about love, men, women, and how relationships “should be” are very different from how events play out in real life. Many of our beliefs about relationships aren’t backed by facts, research, or even science—they are based on myths and misconceptions passed down over time. Without even realizing it, you may be clinging to myths and beliefs about love that are causing you lots of unnecessary pain and disappointment—and they’re holding you back from the relationship you deserve! The very first step to finding new love is to stop believing everything you’ve heard about love and relationships, and to start with the facts and a fresh, clean slate.


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